crap,crappy,crapppieerrrr, crapppitestttttt me .

Usually I sleep around 11 or even before that because well umm I'd get why i sleep early  some other time so I am up today , today has not been an ordinary day . Today it felt like a Sunday and i hate Sundays because the next day is a working day . I am typing slowly because my sister sleeps in the same room and if my dad peep's in my room he wont be very happy to see me up and that too using computer. Everything was almost fine but then it wasn't and i HATE keeping skeletons in my head now it hurts . I dont want to resolve fights among people and listen to them and all their drama and what not i am TIRED because it had never been fight my problem my issue yet i was the lawyer , the advocate . 

This friend of mine once said to me : forget medicine you become a relationship consultant or something of a referee . I just got a text from a friend and she wants help with her work her work which i can do easily and i am doing it now but i feel guilty for not completing my own work which is pending because i am procrastinating . Reason for faster blogging is my fixed pc and the reason for  no blogging at all would be my exams that is if i can resist not to blog .

I am going to stay away from everything and anything  . doing nothing would be doing something  . I wish I could shut up and tape myself up . I've been the girl who always has something to talk about ALWAYS and also the girl who talks A LOT . I cant seem to sink into the new place and i cant even complain anymore . I am just afraid everybody will get sick of it but I cant help it I feel sick everyday . yesterday was the worst day ever tomorrow wont be any better and this will repeat on and on for five whole effin years . yes i am being a cynic and a pessimist dont you dare tell me to be optimistic and chrippy and all happy go lucky with the contentment lecture . I've been trying that and it is not working too bad i grew up and i dont believe in fairies or pixie dust anymore either . everything is fine and i am okay that's all you know and that's all I will ever tell you from now on . you don't have to know because you wont understand . I was not meant to be a part of what you think I am and i wont ever be able to do what you think i might or i can . 

One day you wake up and feel dead but the truth is you are not it's just that you want to be and the truth is  whatever you want is what you cant have even if it's just sleeping for 5 more minutes in the morning .fml.

I am having an eruption of all sorts of emotions right now more like universal emotions  and mind you my hormones are totally balanced so yeah . BLAH . I dont care anymore if you think i am what you think a sad ,emo, dramatic person . ( i am lying i always care and i always think my mind never stops making lists) .

CONFESSIONS :

- I  like/read urdu poetry and i find it very hot and sexy . I even wrote a cheap romantic thing when i was younger and never showed it to anyone  . ( sachii ) 

-  I am secretly sad about the test i failed even though it was not my dream but it was their dream . 

- I never though people would read what i write since most of them around me think i am very '' farigh'' to do all this (ukp ).

can i be lara croft ? 

can i take some time off ?

can i cut my hair off ?

can i kick him in the balls ?

can i pass my exam ? 

can i stop being an ass and move my ass to bed and sleep ? ( yes I can yes I am ) .

BYE BYE . please pray that i give very hot papers and score sexy marks this time zaroori haina I swear  . -__-